Saturday, July 26, 2008

Picky Eater or Grandma's Revenge pas deux

This should come as no surprise; Whoozyerkid looooovvveeesss Mac and Cheese. But not just ANY Mac 'N' Cheese will do. Oh no...
Will I feed my kid Kraft in a box? You know the answer to that question. I know you do. Hell, no! So...this particular exclusion is self-imposed.
Let's try another brand---in every single form known to connoisseurs of boxed mac 'n' crack--including hippy peace sign and floppy-eared semolina shapes; Annie's Naturals boxed noodles with every conceivable color of cheese and pasta type. Will the taste buds of Whoozyerkid succumb to the relatively inexpensive and all-natural elbows and cheese nestled in recyclable cardboard? No. In fact this brand earns the prestigious award of 5 Whoozyerdaddy garbage disposals. For a product to earn this award Whoozyerkid must refuse to even try the candidate and daddy must perform pasta digestion detail.
Next up; the dreadful Kid Cuisine. It looks better than Kraft and Whoozyerkid begged and she caught me on a quasi mainstream kind of day. So I caved. Thank God she won't eat that crap. 2 Whoozyerdaddy garbage disposals. Whoozyerkid will eat 3 bites to earn the chocolate portion of the faux meal. I need to feed this to Whoozyerbabysitter so it doesn't go to waste.
Not even worth a mention are homemade versions of mac and cheese, and any mac and cheese in a restaurant other than Red Robin, which I can't stand but we'll go to say--if we're shopping and Whoozyermommy needs a margarita.
But, my friends, the 5 goldenforks award goes to Trader Joe's Mac and Cheese---at almost $4 a pop. The deep freezer is stocked...and I'm not happy about it. I will keep slogging away in my quest to find a good, earth-friendly value and to please my discerning little baby bird. One day I'll duplicate this masterpiece of a mac 'n' cheese. I'll hide a TJ's box and leave it on the counter and I'll serve the home-made stuff. If any mom can do it, I can. Whoozyerkid will be none-the-wiser.
Many of you are thinking---"just serve her what you eat" or "she's going about it all wrong" but Whoozyerkid regularly eschews arugula, risotto, chicken and sun dried tomatoes and she's a skinny little sprite. I myself had food issues as a child and I did not eat anything green until I hit my 23rd birthday out of spite towards a vegetarian ex-boyfriend.

And also, I remember uncles on each side of my family who had a thing for making me eat beans (what is it with uncles and beans?) and oh, it was miserable. I'm not about to force a child to eat something she doesn't like and I'm not about to starve my child; she's supposed to be learning at such a tender age and a girl can't think straight when she's hungry. And yes, I'm sometimes a pushover. We're working on table manners and not food struggles. Our list of excuses is a million miles long as to why I'm a short order cook.
I dread having two picky palates to feed. I know I created a monster and I have to change my current approach. Which is why Whoozyerbaby is going boobmilk all the way until I figure out how the HELL not to raise two picky eaters. And I wonder, it's not too late for Whoozyerkid, is it? Is one doomed to being a picky eater always?

Whoozyerbrood before Whoozyerkid's latest refusal of non-Trader Joe's Mac 'n' Cheese and Whoozyerdeprivedbaby's subsequent liquid diet.

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