Thursday, April 15, 2010

My Wish Came True. Now WTF do I do?

From easter


The first order of business in Whoozyerhousehold is for Whoozyermama to raise her hand to be counted in the 2010 US Census Bureau. Uh... if I could just find the questionairre under the mounds of neglected papers in Whoozyeroffice. I know it's here somewhere--lodged between the turkey baster (it's not what you are thinking AT ALL), labels, light bulbs and a Kaiser Permanente Health "Are you happy with your physician?" survey. Having not yet reviewed the documentation I'm unsure as to whether I am considered a homemaker or unemployed. Both will do. For now.

Let me just say, I have no clue what I am doing. Also---the picture below is the most intimate moment I have experienced with Whoozyerdaddy in weeks. Don't worry, it is G-rated.
From easter egg hunt

It seems that once I left Whoozyerformeremployer--Whoozyerdaddy made a mad dash to his office door to complete THE PROJECT THAT STOLE MY HUSBAND. I think he is here but he is a shell of his former self and I fear that the Zombies ATE HIM. Are we insured against a zombie attack now that he is the SOLE BREADWINNER? Must contact Whoozyercompanythatstolewhoozyerhusband benefits department. Pronto.


From easter egg hunt

Whoozyerkid#2 has also noticed her father's absence of late. "Hey, Whoozyergrandpa," queried Whoozyer2ndkid. "Did this HORSE eat my Daddy?"
"No Whoozyerkid" he laughed in answer. "Silly child! It was a flock of ZOMBIES."

HERE'S ONE OF THEM!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE WHOOZYER2nd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From easter egg hunt


Stay tuned for the next installment of "Mama is Losing it". Do the zombies eat my family? Or do I? Subscribe to my blog to find out. Also to get your free Ovaltine decoder ring. Can you tell? Can you? Just how tired I am?