Friday, August 22, 2008

Preschool, the place where wishes come true.

My wish is for silent home--save for the whir of the ceiling fan. Not even that; just a few minutes where I can hear myself think, that is what I wish for.

So, tomorrow Whoozyerkid and I are headed for a fountain or a wishing well with handfuls of pennies and hearts filled with longing. Because preschool is out for the week and I am not sure what else I can plan with a napping baby and playdates galore. But a wishing well, we can do. So much for promises of the zoo or the beach. I'm not doing it alone. Things are getting harder as Whoozyerbaby grows ever more mobile.

I honestly don't know what I would do without preschool. Or how other moms have survived without it, with all due respect.

We mostly have stayed at home just because it is easier. At dusk Whoozyerkid hid in the hand-me-down playhouse in the backyard and demanded "Call Daddy, Mom." It was urgent--she and Whoozyerdaddy have a thing; she always hides when we hear his car and he acts surprised when she darts out from her spot. I debated not telling him we were in the backyard because I wanted him to get on with it and hurry up with the whole "settling in process" but she was so into their game and I relented. He came out and I said I was going to the store "Alone." "Just let me get settled in and a little relaxed after I find Whoozyerkid" he said. Oh my. This is why some SAHM's lose it. I have been home all day and unsettled. Does my child only view me as some sort of glorified waitress? I am not exaggerating when I say she wanted food/drink at least ten times today. I was unsettled until my excursion to Safeway, in pursuit of something low-cal and chocolate that doesn't taste like a plastic doll factory; to peruse the trashy magazines in the check-out line and look at photos of other people's children who have "stylists". Is that the antidote to kid-concocted outfits? For good measure I also gawked at heroin-wasted, crack-ho-ified Amy Winehouse and her before/after addiction mock-up and felt instantly better. And then I went home and said to Whoozyerhubby "I. Am. DONE. For. Today."

Thank God for preschool. Preschool, I don't think I have ever expressed how I feel about you. I don't think I can convey what is inside of me but I swoon as I fantasize about you and only you, baby. You make life worth living. You make me a better woman. I wish for your return every morning. With you around, I can do anything. Smooches...


Shaken Mama said...

You said it, sister!!!

G'Ma said...

I always knew I was a better mother because of working and daycare - - - something about enjoying your children more when you also have a life!

Love the description of the nightly hide-n-seek game.

Hugs and kisses -