Thursday, August 14, 2008

"The Best Deodorant" sucks a$$!!!!!

If you're one of my mama friends you probably are well aware that I'm on a (as my friend J puts it) all Nate-ur-al rampage---purging mainstream personal care items and going more chemical-free where practical. So one day in the midst of this bodycare lifestyle change I visited our local hippy-yuppie drugstore and asked the clerk for "the most effective natural deodorant you've got" 'and make it snappy, Bub', I didn't add--but thought. I was in a big hurry to go all-natural. He pointed to a deodorant with breeze-kissed lavender fields pictured on the bottle and I was sold. Boy, do I love lavender. It also said "The Best Deodorant" right there on the bottle. How could I go wrong?

I hustled my prize home in my fabulous fuschia ChicoBag , washed the pits and sprayed the beautifully bottled deodorant under my arms. It smelled like pure heaven, strongly lavender-y

The next day I nicked myself whilst shaving and I developed a little irritation. In the manufacturer's defense, it did say "do not apply after shaving". Really? How long am I supposed to go without my lavender "fix" after shaving? I mean seriously, folks; go without deodorant? For ANY length of time? Is THIS what happens to everyone who doesn't heed the warning? Who applies deodorant "gasp" after SHAVING?

Two weeks later I'm beginning to wonder if I should relocate myself to Molokai . There is a BOIL right in the fold of my armpit. I can't shave there. I dare not apply any deodorant--hippie or non. Hailing a cab--which I never have the opportunity to do these days--is a no-no. And reaching for the last 4-pack of of toothbrushes at Costco is verboten. I also apologize in advance if I smell. I'm wearing a different all-natural deodorant on the left side. I figure, what the hell, why not infect the other pit while I'm at it and make it even?
J is also pretty into the whole natural thing and even uses vinegar and baking soda to clean SANS the essential oils. She recommends the crystal rock roll-on which I'm trying and so far so good on the "good" pit. J is also a nurse; she examined the "area" and handed me a tube of Neosporin and advised, "Honey. sometimes you just have to go for the pharmaceuticals." Point well taken...


kristina said...

ok, the picture is a bit much.

also, the rock salt stuff works pretty good.

G'Ma said...

Okay, it is my soapbox time.

I've been trying to figure out what it was about this whole "natural" and "Save the Environment" movement or discussion that bothered me, and I think I have finally figured it out. To me, it is just a different form of consumerism.

Since the "Chicobag" was mentioned, let's start there. Why do we need to BUY bags for one use? How are those bags made? From what? By whom? What is the environmental rating for that company? If we don't want to use single use bags, why not use all the bags we have been given at conferences or as giveaways throughout the years? Why are we not making bags from worn out clothing? Take your old jeans, sew the legs closed and add a handle from remaining fabric. Some of us have big enough butts that we could make a pretty good sized bag!

Trader Joe's really gets me here. They promote bringing your own bags - which they hope are ones you bought from them - but they package all their produce. How is that helping the environment?

And this deodorant - all natural, but what are the practices of the company that makes it? Do they require organic or environmental certification from their growers? What are their bottling practices? Do they use refillable bottles? Are their bottles made from recycled and recyclable materials? There is nothing on their website that answers these questions.

I think the key is being an aware consumer. Check out the ratings of the major companies and read their environmental reports. Don't just discount them because they are big. Go to sites such as Green Power ( and check out their ratings. If you like Johnson & Johnson products, be pleasantly surprised - - -they actually get very high ratings from an environmental perspective.

I completely and fully admit and recognize that we are consumers - major consumers. And yes, little things add up, but are we really helping, or are we just making ourselves feel good?

Mrs. Whoozyer said...

It's much worse now. Time to call Kaiser. You have a point there, Mom. That's why I'm trying to figure out how to make all of this stuff and SELL it to some other sucker. Local and all-natural are the buzzwords du jour around here.

MtzMama said...

There's a very good reason GRANDma's start wtih the word Grand! You make very valid points and I couldn't agree more, esp with TJ's and promoting green living but packaging the produce in plastic containers.
Thanks for writing in and making such great really gave me something to think about.

And Nicole, seriously...that is just horrible about what happened wtih the deo. I hope you were kidding about a Kaiser visit but if you weren't, the deo co. better get ready to compensate, one way or another b/c that is just horrific!

Sorry I didn't call you back yesterday...had quite the day. I will call you tomorrow!