Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Is there a T.A. (Television Anonymous) for kids? And Tel-Anon for parents?

photo courtesy of:

Time to send little creature from the digital LAGOON to find her non-TV watching, non-sugar-eating, non-sleeping-in-her-clothes sponsor. AAAAACCCKKK!

I also must remember to tell Whoozyerkid's preschool director (and expert nit-picker) that the little itty bitty bits of white substance that are sticking to her hair strands are NOT nits, in fact, as she may mistakenly surmise-- but melted marshmallows from our endeavor to make S'mores on the Chambers stove AFTER bathtime. I will have to remember this as I hurriedly drop my child off at the weirdest time ever for a kid to go to preschool--11:50 AM.

Some of you are probably aware of my weird preschool arrangement in which she can't go to preschool until almost noon Tues-Thurs--thanks SO VERY VERY MUCH to the SHARKS who tried to bleed our equity for their CRAZY REPORT which they ignored we refuted TWICE(I mean--what do you expect--the house was built in 1928! Earthquake retrofitting my bitten ass!) The sale of our house fell through and I was left to scramble for quality childcare. Because it's always Whoozyermamma who gets stuck with this kind of task. And thus, this crazy compromise.

Thankfully this arrangement will end in mid-June as I WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST ONE to sign up for summer and fall session and foist my deposit into the Director's freshly finger paint-splattered hands. Whoozyermama elbowed some other kids out of the program. Momma was jostling HARD!

This wonderful schedule--which I had been assured would be temporary until someone dropped out (wouldn't you know it?--since September not one of 30 kids dropped out!!!) effs up a number of things, one of which is uninterrupted WORK time (and probably my kid too--see story on BITING MY ASS). So, who has been my savior, my knight in plastic armour? Not just one, mind you---it's a bevy of caretakers; no one other than Curious George and Clifford followed by SuperWhy, Dragon Tales, Sesame Street, Raggs and then exactly one half of every one's favorite dinosaur, Barney! Yay!

We tried to have someone over to take care of both kids--she brought 2 of her kids--alright,I thought--playmates for Whoozyerkid! But I couldn't get any work done for fear that somekid would swing off a chandelier or break the original--circa 1928-- leaded glass in the built-in buffet by some Roomba-flinging contest. It was easier this morning to enlist the help of my friends at PBS. Whoozyerkid said she just wanted to stay home with Mommy and her "shows" and her eyes---those soulful hound dog eyes pierced me to my very vapid soul.

It's all my fault. I am crap for Mom. And a sleep-deprived pushover to boot. And on weekends Whoozyerdaddy lets me catch up on sleep so that I don't MELT DOWN so it's Callou, Little Bear, Wow, Wow Wubzy. You get the idea. We need an intervention.

Whoozyerkid's getting dropped off tomorrow. Somewhere. Where. The...TV ISN'T ON!!!!! and where the Mom isn't CRAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

No comments: