Bedtime routine.

Nurse #2 for the last time before retiring. On the left side; which is a feat in and of itself (try latching on to something larger than your entire skull and the thing that you latch onto plays peekaboo--try doing that for 10 minutes at a time... my child has fortitude in spades. )

Put child in swing to ensure consectutive hours of sleep.

Gaze upon child #1 and resolve to call doctor. She snores louder than husband.

Use the loo. Notice milk dripping onto floor...

Say "Crap!".

Leave milk on floor for cleaning lady.

Take handful of pills.

Take out contacts.

Brush teeth.

Wash, tone and moisturize face using expensive product--the only thing that keeps me from getting teenage acne. Notice gray pallor. Notice waning skin tone. Sigh. Nice. I will be 80 and still get pimples.

Say "crap" again.

Stand over sink.

Hand express dripping milk.

Say "moo"

Go to bed--kamikaze-style without pads.

Who needs them?

Say "moo" again...